Why fishnet stockings for a shoot?
This conceptual beauty shoot is a metaphor for self inflicted physiological pain. The fishnet stockings is like a steel fence but instead of being solid and standing in one place outside of yourself, this “fence” goes wherever you go and acts like a second skin. It also act like a protection towards outer “interference”. The “fence” is shaped after your body even as your body/mind changes, and cuts into your skin a bit now and then when you feel more trapped in your own head/within ourselves with negative thought about ourselves.
I feel that everybody is always beautiful. Even behind the fence. What makes a person ugly or beautiful is determined by what we give to the world outside ourselves. If we act/give/do negative towards “stuff” outside ourselves then that person (to me) becomes ugly… and the other way around.
I was so so so fortunate to be able to work with model Gia from Oh My Management, because she really is the essence of what I’m trying to convey with this concept! The agency has many transgender models under their wings and after looking for months after the perfect model i finally found her! Also, to be able to collaborate with MUA Rasmus was really the sherry on top! He embodies a androgyne/genderless perfection in combination with artistic skill that is so absolutely epic and beyond! This shoot was really about taking responsibility for yourself, which i feel they both have done in their personal life. To love yourself enough to be able to say “stop caring about what people outside yourself say you should and should not look like!”. Because our physical bodies are just there as a vehicle for our personality/ who you are as a person/you. Who the fuck cares how people want to pimp their ride?! Really?! It doesn’t matter! If you like how others look then take inspiration from it. If you don’t then move on. Don’t talk unless you have something good to say!
The story unfolds frame by frame.
We can see that the fence is placed in different ways. First covering the whole face. Notice also that the makeup is more clean and natural at this stage. It’s not supposed to “disturb” others. Always act normal around others, adapt, fit in and don’t make a sound, right?! As the story progresses we will notice that the fence will gradually disappear.
Next we introduce the veil fabric. It’s a symbol for a more healthy fence to carry around. Not directly attached to your skin but it’s there. I think it’s healthy to listen to what other people have to say but one doesn’t necessary have to make it a belief. It takes time for some people (me being one of them) to reach a place of self love. Therefor the graduate transition from careful to careless. Deeply rooted personal changes doesn’t happen over night.
Now the old fence is almost gone. Replacing it with the new fence and a more healthy relationship to oneself and to the surroundings. The makeup is also more saturated. Where almost there!
When you finally feel that you can face people with more of “who you want to be” it’s such a wonderful feeling, but scary at the same time. In the beginning you still have your guard up but not as much as before.
Finally, you realize that all of the thoughts inside your head was just that. And other peoples opinions about you can only get to you if you let it! Mental abuse by other people can only become pain if you let it. Self inflicted pain.
The fabric wrapping around Gia is really one of my favorite fabrics to work with! It’s so versatile and can be used for all situations! For this shoot it added movement and a sort of softness to the shoot that compliments the concept.
Polaroid images i took during the shoot.
Camera: Polaroid SpiceCam taking 600 film (Spice girls edition). Film: Impossible 600 B/W film. Settings: Camera set to close-up. Special notes: The underexposed shot is photographed using the flash override button on the camera with a continues light hitting the model. The overexposed shot is taken with the cameras built in flash that also triggered the studio strobes.
Wrap it all up!
This conceptual beauty shoot is not just a story about how i see many other people I encounter go trough. But it’s also drawn from my personal life journey. Visual arts is my weapon of choice when it comes to tackling big life questions and the journey trough it. Mental and physical abuse has been a part of my story for many many years during my childhood. Not until recently did i really feel that i was worthy to describe myself as beautiful. Not because my physical appearance… but because of who I am as a person.
I hope that this blog post inspired you to create with your own weapon of choice. To take responsibility for your own life and not put it in the hands of others. Especially if you have the luxury to live in our “modern” society and have your own social security number. Then sky is really the limit!