The struggle is real ya’ll! I applied to photography school but didn’t get accepted. So, I got a bit sad but then felt like it was probably the best thing for me. I always get anxiety when I get creatively locked. I tried the “school thing” a few times before but after a while I always felt like it would be more fun to go over the top and not be held back. I do that a lot. I hold back to not stand out… I really try very had, often, to just melt into the masses. It’s not that I have a problem with being different. The problem is that I feel like maybe what I do can make someone feel really bad. I don’t want that. To make people feel bad because of me or something I did.
Anyway, I did get a bit heart broken but just like with everything in life; the unknown path is so much more exciting and evolving then the one that has already been paved.
SO! This means that I will start studying again! BUT! This time without the help of school. I have finally decided that I’m going to be an artist. Yup! Why the fuck not!? I’m done trying to be something that already exist. I feel so much better not knowing how to describe myself. I really do not need to explain anything to anyone so I don’t know why I always get fall-backs to try and make sense. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I actually love people and connecting with other humans or other animals from planet earth. I just have 0% tolerance for idiots and dumb shit. So, I find it hard to find friends. BUT! I don’t need friends. I have my cat (and soon maybe one more). I always enter a new friendship with thinking that the person is 100% inspiring and absolutely fucking wonderful until they prove me wrong.
Yes! So, I’m going to start studying. And I’m going to do this by using the internet, library, my people skills and pure love for anything art. Weird or wonky! I still want to understand the reason behind it and the message from the artist him/herself. I want to apply it in my own message to the future.
I also love the idea of being collectively creative so to find tips and tricks on the net and then spreading the word about awesome positive shit is really something I want to be a part of and contribute to! Below is a few links to help anyone that want to self-study! No need to pay 200.000USD a year to go to art school. The internet is the best classroom there is. Wake up when you want. Go to sleep when you want. Listen to anyone from anywhere on the planet whenever. Speed their workshops up! Attend a real one if the wanting is there. Sit wherever you wanna sit and study. Internet is available anywhere nowadays and there are so many awesome fucks out there that want to spread the word about what they’ve learned.
Total freedom to be do or have whatever, whenever! If not now then eventually. You haven’t finished trying until you succeeded! I really believe that cause if you live in a time and place like where I live then there’s really no excuse to not being happy or constantly trying to be in that place of bliss, joy, happiness and zen! I hade a weird childhood… man was it so fucked up… BUT, that has taught me more about being the master of my own happiness. AND THAT MY FRIEND is what art is all about. Happiness.
Do society a favour and become and artist.
Below I’ve included some of my favourite places on the internet where you can find a helping hand when doing this art thing. Most of the time I struggle between wanting to kill myself cause I am of no use to this planet and some times I feel like I’m a part of a revolutionary movement. Anyway, the links can help you in you physiological creative work as well as you pragmatic:
http://erickimphotography.com/blog/ – This blog is like your big brother that loves you and understands you dedicated a blog to you cause he’s already been trough the crap of not believing in himself as an artist/photographer.
http://www.irismasters.com/l01-how-to-teach-yourself-photography/ – Great read to start you self-taught journey in photography. So are the links below.